When I was 10, my Father left us, well I thought at the time he left ME. That was a significant transformational experience for me. We do not realise the impact the breaking up of a home has on the whole family and extended family.
We were a family of 6, or so we thought. Then there was my grandparents on my Mother’s side that were very close to us and participated in bringing us up, as my parents were very young when they became parents. My Mum to be exact was 16 when she had my eldest brother. By the time my Mum was 23 she had had 5 children. Notice I said 6 in our family, well the last born was given up for adoption. An extreme transformational experience in my Mother’s life letting one of her babies go. You never heal from this, you carry your child within your eternally.
Everyone deeply affected by the breakup of our family. I believe that a family breaks over time with each “transformational experience or moment”. I also believe that the children experience everything, even at conception and within the womb space. With each birth there is transformation, and with each death there is transformation. Birth and Death can also be about parts of you, as well as people and places. A part of my Mother died when she had to let her last baby go to live and be brought up by another family (who experienced a beautiful transformation experience of receiving life) never to participate, never to hold, nurture LOVE.
My point here is no matter the experience transformation happens for you. Notice I say FOR you. Ultimately I do deeply believe at the core of me that everything happens FOR US and NOT AGAINST US! To live life this way from your soul is a choice of immoveable faith and trust if creation. It is not a choice that comes easily or for everyone. However I do wish it for everyone, because the ripple affect of this way of living is kind to everyone. There is less blame, shame, rejection, taking, and betraying. There is more giving, more freedom, more room for love.
So why did I feel that it was all happening for our greater good…Well here goes! My Mother was worthy of better, she was a wonderful big hearted beautiful women, and was being treated badly, betrayed, and abused, and my Mother experiencing this, and this happening in our home, meant that we as children were growing up within a consciousness of betrayal, and abuse. This consciousness stayed with us all, there is not one of us that stayed married, our families all experienced divorce and separation. The sins of the Father….
So for my Father to find another women who he left us for and married, made it possible for my Mother to meet a few men who treated her like a princess, with respect and admiration. She was valued and seen and loved deeply, and I am so grateful she did have this experience. However talking aloud…would it have been different had my Mum and Dad chosen to work on themselves and heal, transform themselves to stay a family and become better people together within the family, leading by example, showing us as children how to take responsibility for ourselves and the quality of our lives. Well that is the past now, they did not do that. Not even we did that. I chose to do the work as a single women and influence my children through my own healing and being a contributing women, after I left my husband and father of my children. I still have not met any men that treat me they way my heart longs to be treated, there is still a little wish in me to experience this…is it for me in this life time? Well, only God knows, in the meantime I am living my life fully, practice opening my heart to my future and in look back into my past for transformational catalysts and then move forward courageously. I am aware that there is still healing to happen for me, which I must participate in, in order to attract into my life loving supportive experiences, with the opposite sex. Your primary relationship with yourself is where it all starts.
My Mother went on to experience another deeply painful and transformational experience…she loved and lost a soul mate in the war 6 weeks before they were to be married. I remember my Mother lying in her bed broken, not wanting to live, and we were all still alive and needed her. So I am still figuring out, HOW this was for us? This just seemed straight up cruel. My Mum never married again, She had 2 more long term relationships, and eventually was living alone, although supported and loved by us, she was alone and died alone at 70. When I say died alone, there was no one near by, when she eventually left this world for her next, to be with her in those last moments of her life. A regret sits in my soul about this and I wish I had been there for her more.
We deeply loved our Mother, and I miss her every day.
So in this sharing of a few transformational experiences for me… my Mother was knitted into the whole journey. We never journey alone, we are all connected, we are all part of the ONE. The greater one who created everything with such purpose and reason so much love. I do believe that The One True God is a Loving Kind and Generous God. What religion has us believe does not resonate with me.
So, are we ever truly still enough to really hear the whispers in our knowing that all is for our good, and to move forward, keep our hearts open, let the past go, and open your arms willingly to embrace your colourful future unknown. I encourage myself constantly to practice this. Forgiveness is so key to letting go of the past…such a powerful process and ritual. I do the Ho’oponnopono prayer almost daily, often just have the mantra playing in the background subliminally caressing my unconscious mind where all past is stored.
This feature image is of a ritual done where we let go of the past, we took these delicate used nests that at carried new bird babies that have now spread their wings to fly and we gently respectful breathed our past, that no longer served us, and we let them float away on then lake into the sunset. It was so beautiful, and opening experience, opening to the future to come to me, attracting into man life, more transformational experiences.
You see, I still believe EVERYTHING happens for me.
Thank you for reading…I hope this inspired you to look forward and build a faith that nothing can crumble.
Your life is waiting for you, open and embrace the now. It is all we truly have. In this NOW moment we can be our greater greatest self.
With Love that transforms